We Need To Talk
by Kjb2609
Summary: After his heart was back in its rightful place, would his Swan forgive him for nearly breaking his promise to survive?


The gentle knocking on the door roused him from the brink of sleep. Running his hands through his hair, he made his way to the door.

"Hey." She leaned against his door frame, eyes heavy with exhaustion and worry.

"Swan," he breathed, the corners of his mouth turning upward just slightly. Every fibre of his being fought the nervous urge to fill the ensuing silence with an innuendo-laden quip to cover the shame and fear that he felt facing her, after coming so close to breaking the promise he had made her.

"We need to talk," she stated simply.

"Aye," he replied quietly, ushering her into his room. "Come in, love."

He heard her breath hitch as he used the pet name, remembering the unfeeling tone of the last time he had said it, the voice of the Crocodile twisting his words beyond recognition. He hoped she could hear the depth of feeling behind his words this time – his newly returned heart was full to a depth he scarce believed could be real.

She looked intently at him, green eyes searching blue for the answers she needed. He found it increasingly difficult to meet her gaze, the guilt of almost leaving her weighing heavily. He had been a fool, of that there was no doubt, and all he could do was hang on to the hope that she could forgive his stupidity.

"I need to know one thing, Killian," she said. "Was it all because of your hand? Was that what put you in Gold's reach?"

He breathed deeply, preparing himself to bare his soul to the woman he loved, the woman he hoped against hope returned his feelings.

"That was a part of it, but no, not the entirety. I realised early in the piece that there was no way the Crocodile would give anyone, not even his lass, control over him. I used that fact to convince him to assist Elsa, confirming my suspicions about the dagger."

She nodded, taking in his explanation. He felt some relief from his previous anxiety, her calm and determined demeanour reassuring him that perhaps she could understand what had brought him to this point.

"When you asked me on our date, I was consumed with the need to make it all it could be. Swan, I had waited for so long to have that moment with you, and all I could think of was being a real man for you, whole and complete, holding you properly, the way you deserve." He reached his hand across gingerly, taking her hand in his, praying she would accept his touch. She held his hand quietly for a moment, then he felt her fingers move, interlacing with his. He smiled to himself, then slowly caught her gaze. Her face was serious, but her eyes were lighter, less pained and seemed to urge him on.

"I was a fool to think I had bested the Crocodile, a bloody fool. He returned my hand, but placed the doubt in my mind that it was cursed, belonging to the man I was, not the man I want to be. When Scarlett interfered and I reacted so strongly, his mind games had their desired effect. Of course, to have him remove it came at a cost – my assistance in his capture of the old man in the Sorcerer's hat. Which is how I knew what he had planned for you when you decided to dispose of your magic. I tried to warn you through the talking device, but he erased my message to you."

As he paused, she shifted slightly, moving closer to him. He could feel the warmth of her and longed to pull her closer but he knew he had to give her the lead. She had been silent throughout his confession, but as he prepared to go on, she interrupted.

"You came to stop me, to the manor? And he headed you off? And took your heart." He nodded, confirming her sequence of events. She sighed deeply, squeezing his hand gently. He remained silent, allowing her to process the information she had heard. She reached up and took his face in her hand, her eyes searching his face as if she was committing him to memory.

There was more to admit, more misdeeds completed at the behest of the Dark One that he needed to shed from his conscience. But she seemed ready to have her say.

"Killian, "she began, "You told me I had to trust you. But when are you going to start trusting me? I don't look at you and see a hook or an incomplete person…I see a man who has done nothing but support and encourage and frankly adore me for a long time, even when I made it as difficult as possible for him to do that. A man who believes in me more than I could ever believe in myself. You give me support to be who I am and the strength to feel that is ok."

She paused, breathing deeply, this speech being one of the longest and most honest things she had ever said to him. He met her eyes, their brilliant green deepened by the tears that pooled there. As the first slid silently down her cheek, he gently wiped it away with the pad of his thumb, caressing her cheek and trying desperately to convey the way he felt in that simple gesture.

"You are the better man, Killian – there is nothing you could do or change to be a better man for me. Just be you. That is all that I need."

He pulled her gently towards him, cradling her in his arms, supremely grateful to have his heart in its rightful place to truly feel the joy her words had brought him. As her face turned slowly up to his, he leaned in to place the softest of kisses on the lips of the woman who was his world.

And perhaps, he was hers too.


End file.
